Found your shirt today in my closet. Still smelled like you. It’s weird.. I forgot what that smelled like. Brought a lot back into my mind. It’s sad how things change sometimes. I often think about how everything happens for a reason. And sometimes I just need to keep remembering that. So weird..
Sometimes when I lay here in bed I really miss you. I start to think a lot as I lay here. I constantly wonder if you keep appearing in my dreams for a reason.. Maybe it’s my concision telling me that things aren’t resolved. They were left open ended. But I just think to myself what a favor I’m doing for some lucky girl out there. She is going to be so happy to meet you. You will treat her so well. Just like you treated me, for the majority of it all. I just can’t wait to see how happy I know you’ll make her. I think that’s what calms me down and reminds me that I’m not such a horrible person for looking out for my own feelings while also thinking of yours.. Just in a way you wouldn’t imagine. And could quite possibly still be painful. I don’t know. Think about it often.. But I can’t help but be thankful for where I am today in my life. I also can’t wait for that day in the future.. years from now.. when we can look back and appreciate what we had and realize how much we grew as individuals through it all. I could keep going. But I should try and get some rest.. hoping this would help me to stop processing so much in my head for the time being. Miss you, hope your doing well.